Hot Boyfriend Blog

Ok, here's what happened:

My tummy started hurting Thursday night but it wasn't horrible so I just went to bed.  When I woke up, my chest hurt like I had a gas bubble that I couldn't burp out.  I was off Friday since I'm on a compressed work schedule so I just hung out around the house.  I started feeling much better.  When I went back to bed Friday night, my chest started hurting again even more.  I sat up for a while and tried to burp.  I didn't burp, but felt better until a laid back down.  I figured it was some kind of heartburn so I blew it off again.  Late Saturday, I called PQ at his work and told him I should probably go to the hospital since my chest was still hurting and I was having trouble breathing (he had been trying to get me to go since day one).  We decided to wait until Sunday morning and go to the Urgent Care Center so we wouldn't have to wait in the emergency room.  So after another painful night, we went there.  

The UC center is awesome.  They took us in almost with no wait at all.  An older woman doctor that had a Hispanic accent and was an uncomfortably close talker took all my vitals.  She then told me it could be my heart and I should be admitted to the hospital to be on the safe side.  So I got to have a fun and wacky ambulance ride to St. Anthonys hospital.  The doctor at the ER took my vitals again including an EKG.  He said that I had just had a heart attack or was currently having one.  Then they gave me a Nitro pill.  It gave me a REALLY bad headache and I almost passed out.  PQ was there and he was kind of freaking out.

So they took me to the Cardiac ICU and started doing more tests.  My lungs had built up some fluid since my heart wasn't pumping as much as it should (that's why I couldnt breath right), so they decided to dehydrate me.  They gave me something to make me pee, but I was not allowed to get out of bed.  I learned how to pee in one of those plastic urinals that look like a bent milk carton.  At one point in the ICU, I had to pee really badly.  My room curtain was wide open for the world to look in.  Just as I started urinating into the bottle, some visitors of another patient decided to have a nice get-together in front of my room and started chatting away.  It really made it hard to go.  It wasn't even visiting hours, so they shouldnt have been there anyway, but I was too tired to yell at them.  Some people are idiots. A nurse finally chased them out.

They did more tests including an ultrasound on my heart.  This lady put a glob of grease on this round probe then proceded to jam it forcefully into my left titty.  It hurt and made my manboob all tender.  Eventually they decided I had pericarditis which is an inflammation of the sac around the heart.  It causes all these symptoms from the tummy ache to feeling worse while lying down.  It can be caused by lots of things such as viruses or allergic reactions, but is often a symptom of a heart attack.  My EKG didn't show most of the signs of a heart attack, but to make sure, they sent me to the Catheter lab to have an exploratory catheter and to put in stints if they found any clogs.  Some random nurse shaved my junk and then several other people became friends on a first name basis with my junk as they sterilized and stuck things into my groin.  I'm not sure why they have to go through the groin since that is not even close to where your heart is.  Well, everything turned out fine.  No clogs, drips, errors or anything.

I went to a regular room after that and spent one more night for a total of about 48 hours in the hospital.  It looks like I did not have a heart attack after all, and I should fully recover with no permanent damage to my heart.  Hurray!

What I learned:

• Hospital food sucks.  Its not just a rumor.  Icky.
• After a while you get used to urinating in bed and even miss the convenience a little after you've quit.
• If you're sick enough, you don't care if strangers are looking at your privates.
• It's really embarrassing to have to tell everyone you didn't have a heart attack after you told everyone you did.

The End.

HB

Hey Everyone!  Guess what, I had a heart attack!  Wait, let me rephrase that:  I had a fucking heart attack!!!!!  I'm only 43. This is not supposed to happen.  Why me FSM?  Why me?

It wasn't too bad as heart attacks go.  I'm not even sure exactly when it happened - some time last week I think.  I am feeling pretty weak, but I am home already, and PQ is taking good care of me.  I will have more details in a later post - if I live long enough that is.  Actually, I was told I'll have a full recovery and that my heart is not damaged.  Yea, pretty minor stuff.  Oh well.  It was still a fucking heart attack!!!  Or as PQ put it, "a teeny tiny heart attack."  Gotta love him.

So just to recap: Less than a year ago, I found out I was type 2 diabetic.  Last week, I had a heart attack!!!!! (that will always get multiple !'s) Next stop??? 

Anyway, pity party at my place. Bring presents.

 

HB 

"Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I am participating in the Day of Silence, a national youth movement protesting the silence faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their allies in schools. My deliberate silence echoes that silence, which is caused by harassment, prejudice, and discrimination. I believe that ending the silence is the first step toward fighting these injustices. Think about the voices you are not hearing today. What are you going to do to end the silence?" - Day of Silence card handed out by participants.

 

HB 

This post by Jon Swift is awesome.

and finally

My sarcasm meter just exploded.

HB

I wanted to write an attack on Coulter for her use of the f-word (not fuck, but faggot [oops]) to make a joke about John Edwards. I was going to call her something vile and offensive and then say it was just a joke, just a school-yard taunt. I thought and thought and couldn't come up with anything vile and insulting enough to compare to how she so easily insulted all gays with her flip comment. She's good. Finally I realized the exercise was useless and maybe even pointless. I could have called her a bitch, a cunt, or implied she was a transexual, but that would be misogynistic or homophobic in itself.

It's impossible for a minority (gays in this case) to slur someone in the majority (white straights) as easily as they can do the opposite. You see the framing is controlled by them. An insult from them is more powerful simply because they are more powerful. An inflammatory word from them can cause actual physical harm if one of their minions decides faggots need to be taught a lesson. Is it imaginable that if I called her a slur, someone would decide to physically attack a straight, white female and feel justified? No, of course not. But it happens to the "nigger", or the "faggot", or the "kike" all the time. These words aren't just offensive, they are dangerous and irresponsible.

I really wanted to hurt her like she hurt me, but that's just revenge and it's pointless. Do I want to go down to her level? No thanks.

HB

Attorneygate continues to chug along. We all know George and his administration are as guilty as shit is stinky. The only mystery and intrigue is - will they get away with some or all of it (again) this time? They obstructed justice by firing some attorneys that were working on cases against Republicans or that weren't working on enough cases against Democrats. Then they (Gonzales et. al.) obstructed justice further by lying about it. Now they're trying to obstruct justice even more by hiding evidence showing that they obstructed justice. Whew!

It seems there's an 18 day gap in the email and memo records generously supplied to Congress by the White House. The gap starts right after an email wondering if the president needs to be informed of the plan to fire the attorneys. We come back 18 days later with an email saying the decision has been made. Hmm. What could be in those missing docs? In case you're retarded, I'll spell it out....the preznint is implicated in these missing papers. ¿Que? ¿Quien? ¿Donde? That's right, he's the top deciderer in all this.

Reminds me of some other famouse gaps in GOP history. Remember the 18 1/2 minutes mysteriously erased from the Nixon tapes? How about the gaps between Oliver North's teeth as he shredded evidence on the weapons-for-hostages scandal with a smile on his face during the Reagan years? Then there's the gap in time when Gonzales conveniently forgot to tell the pentagon not to destroy evidence on the Plame investigation for several hours - giving them time to ... oh, I don't know - destroy evidence, maybe?

No wonder they don't want high officials like Gonzales and Miers testifying under oath or with any official record. They're going to have to lie or risk getting into deep shit. It's a lot easier to get caught lying when there's an official record of it. And it's a lot easier to convict someone of perjury or obstructing justice when they're under oath. But the preznint thinks we shouldn't get all politicky and formal about this and just let us have us some friendly chats about it to clear the whole sititation up. Like he and the Veep did for the Plamegate scandal. We all know how well that's worked out. They're all just chummy ol' frat boys havin' a good time.

HB

Yea, that's right. I hate the fucking Girlscouts and their fucking cookies they push on the unsuspecting public this time of year - every year. Maybe that's a little strong and broad. My over-reaction (I admit it) may be slightly due to my finding out about a year ago that I have diabetes. I now realize that everything has corn syrup in it and it is effectively killing us all, and it's subsidized by The Feds of course.

Walking by the goodie table at work (why does it have to be right in my pathway to the bathroom - diabetics have to pee a lot) I am accosted by the site of neatly packaged rows of these delicious and evil cookies. I've resisted so far. Having the threat of blindness, amputation, and/or death helps you to resist things, but everyone else seems to gobble recklessly without remorse. Guilt of paying too much money for a product that's obviously bad for you is countered by the false reasoning that you're helping a good cause. Do they not know that each bite is a stepping stone to hell and damnation? I'm sure the scouts are gleefully aware of the consequences of the chocolate and sugar they are shoveling into the mouths of their all-too-willing victims as dollar signs replace their irises--cha-ching.

I remember my pre-diabetes, pre-awareness love affair with the cookie that was Girlscout-sold. The macaroons are delicious. There was a new lemon one that came out a few years before my diagnosis that was covered in delicate powdered sugar that melted in your mouth sweetly just before the tart lemony goodness crunch-exploded in your mouth. Yea, they were good--almost too good.

Now I'm learning to live with and even like sugar free cookies. They're still bad for you but not nearly as much. Before Diabetes smacked me upside the head, I hated sugar-free products. Diet soda was anathema to me and sugar free desserts made me screw up my mouth in disgust. Now I barely know the difference. I eat sugar free desserts like cookies (in moderation) without a second thought. I can hardly tell the difference from the real thing. How could I? I no longer am allowed to taste the real thing for comparison.

So things could be worse, but why can't there be more sugar-free choices. The grocery store has a few shelves of lite cookies and candies, but nothing compared to the aisles of delectables catering to the sweet tooth of the sugar-enabled. Not only cookies, but donuts, cakes, aisles of sugar coated cereal and pop-tarts. Bags of pure sugar itself, in several brands of brown, cane, powdered, or cubed. In contrast I've got the blue boxes, the pink stuff, and sometimes the crystal-like stuff in a box and a few food items here and there.

Why can't I have more choices? Where's my sugar-free pumpkin pie, my sugar free chocolate cake and donuts? Is food tech just not there to make these things possible? I find it hard to believe there's not a market for this stuff. The explanation has to be conspiracy and I'm looking squarely into your cute little mug, miss Girlscout thang standing all innocent-like at my front door.

hb

[update] There's a new girl scout cookie that's sugar free. They're blue for some reason though. What's going on here?

 

 

Shakespeare's Sister gets my wholehearted support as well.  She rocks!

I am Spartacus! 

This is so cool.  I wish I had thought of it.

HB 

First, the good news.  My favorite political comedian, Al Franken, announced he is running for Senator of Minnesota.  Also, one of my favorite bloggers, Shakesspeare's Sister, has become the netroots coordinator for John Edward's (my favorite candidate of the moment) presidential campaign.  These two things are very cool and exciting indeed.

Now for the bad news. Syndicated columnist Molly Ivins passed away yesterday after a bout with breast cancer.  She was 62.  This news overshadows the other items and makes it a sad day overall. 

I always looked forward to Molly's columns at alternet.org.  Her writing made you think, laugh, cry and get angry--sometimes all at once.  I'll always think of her as the anti-Bush.  She was from the same state as our Incompetent-in-Chief, George Bush, but she embodied the intelligence, sense of humor, grace, and compassion that is so lacking in the current administration. 

Bush made me hate Texas (even though he is actually from Connecticut) while Molly made me love the state (I loved her Texas accent). Shrub, as she liked to refer to Bush, will never live up to the character that was Molly Ivins, much less be able to comprehend why her character was so great.

So with a tear in my eye and a smile on my face (in remembrance of her inner and outer beauty), I bid Molly Ivins a sad/funny/angry/hopeful adieu.  Bye Molly.  May the Flying Spaghetti Monster keep you in his loving embrace for eternity.

HB

p.s. Do yourself a favor and go read some of Molly's great work for yourself here.  I don't want to single out any of the articles--all of them are wonderful. 

I am: William Gibson The chief instigator of the "cyberpunk" wave of the 1980s, his razzle-dazzle futuristic intrigues were, for a while, the most imitated work in science fiction.

Which science fiction writer are you?